He Put My Stapler Inside a Jelly Again

• Classic ones are probably "Free Love on the Gratis Honey Freeway" and David'southward dancing. Oh, that dancing... shudder.
• From the very start episode: "He's put my stapler inside a jelly again!"
• Keith, on the differences betwixt British and American English:

  Keith: Word of warning so, out there they call them "fanny packs"...
  [pause]
  Keith: Crusade fanny means your arse over there...
  [extremely long interruption]
  Keith: ... not your minge.
  [takes a bite of a scotch egg]

• Keith's performance review is pretty funny too...

  David: Under "strengths", you've written "Accounting"... and nether 'weaknesses' you lot've put 'eczema'.

• Absolutely anything in the "Training" episode, "I Recollect There'S BEEN A RAPE Up THERE!"
  • And Gareth is taking notes.
  • Discussing the idea of ultimate fantasies, the trainer says he'd like an isle, David waffles about time travel, and Gareth declares "Two lesbians, sisters - I'grand just watching." Post-obit an bad-mannered silence, Tim declares he'd like to hear more from Gareth, for once. And you tin can see a very minor smile on Gareth's face up.
• The Series Two episode where Gareth puts a very sexual phone call on speakerphone accidentally. Made even funnier by Tim'south absolutely flabbergasted face.
• Gareth'due south rambling about the imaginary sniper on the roof across from David's senile dad's retirement home.
• If you don't know me by know...
• David explaining how hard it would be to try to exist funny when he just got fired. He even shows his (probably expensive) "chicken passenger" outfit, and even though your heart breaks you lot tin can't help but to suffocate from laughing.
• Tim gluing Gareth's telephone for a express joy. And so Gareth prying the telephone open to answer it.
• For the states literary nerds, there's this line: "Tim Canterbury...The Canterbury Tales. By Chaucer. And Shakespeare." Coupled with the fact that it took Ricky Gervais and Martin Freeman over 25 takes to film that scene because they kept cracking up.
• After a particularly tragic nighttime out at Chasers, Gareth is seen riding domicile in the sidecar with a couple for some Three-Way Sexual practice. His confront as he passes the camera is a thing of dazzler.
• David Brent telling Jennifer what a brilliant person Finchy is, then putting him on speakerphone and having to backpedal on what he'd only said. And Finchy jokingly says "stop looking up her skirt" as Davids optics brainstorm to wander.
• Gareth's cringe-worthy endeavor at courtship Rachel even though she's seeing Tim. He and so compromises with:

  "If yous do go all the way with Tim and you want me to go in (points at her crotch) there straight afterwards, brand sure he wears a condom. It'due south sort of a dominion."

  • Quesioning what Rachel sees in Tim, Gareth declars his colleague looks "like a little Fisher-Price man".
• David's attempts to endear himself to the Swindon branch by telling equally many jokes as he can. The deafening silence he gets allows for Tim to permit out a very audible "ooh..."
  • He later tries to overcompensate by telling a joke about a black human'due south cock. Then a black employee turns up and David goes quiet. Jennifer finds out though and reprimands David.
  • David then jokes well-nigh how Jennifer needs to mellow out, possibly with some "wacky-backy". He's immediately brought back in for another scolding.
• Gareth playing with his "Dirty Bertie" toy. He finds information technology hilarious, merely Tim finds it abrasive. Then when Tim's recommending Gareth for the manager's position, you can hear Gareth playing with Bertie some more. The guy'southward his ain worst enemy.
• David going on a blind date. He says that the adult female he's looking for is wearing a white scarf. When he glances backside him and sees an obese, centre-aged woman wearing a white scarf, he mutters "Oh, for fuck's sake". Followed by him telling her, "I've got a blind date, and I thought it was you lot."
• And his phone-call to another woman, where he tells her that he was in a documentary chosen "The Office".

  "God, you're not that awful dominate, are you?"

• Anne not but describing to Tim just demonstrating how she angled herself so as to go her married man's penis deep inside her plenty to excogitate. Tim just stares into infinite, wishing it would end.
  • The Anne-Tim non-human relationship by and large, with her epic self-absorption.

    Anne: I went to a lot of places over the years, and the number of infatuations blokes take had over me, oh God. I mean they know they can't have me, just information technology don't stop 'em. I dunno what it is about me they like and so much.

    Tim: Yeah...I've been racking my brains.

  • There is too the delightful moment when Anne finally gets put in her place past Glyn (the warehouse foreman) after hectoring him about smoking near her at the office party. Watch Tim trying hard not to laugh:

    Glyn: You think nosotros intendance as much virtually your baby as you do? Just cos you lot let some useless tosser accident his beans upwards your muff? Well done! Merry fuckin' Christmas!

• One post-credits shot shows that Tim's screen-saver is scrolling text that says "Gareth is a Benny".
• Later Gareth becomes manager, Tim nicks the keys to his part and locks him in. The kicker? This isn't the commencement fourth dimension he's done it.
• David going on a date-nighttime. Dressed equally Austin Powers. Guess how well that goes.
• David showing Donna how to utilise email by demonstrating on an employee'due south estimator. He opens upwards a message and Donna cracks up laughing. It'due south then revealed that the bulletin was a pornographic motion picture with David's confront in it. When David demands to know who has seen this, anybody raises their hands. Including the cleaning lady - who doesn't fifty-fifty accept email.
• "You're not all going to lose your jobs. Expect, (To ane employee) yous're not going to lose your task, (To some other employee) y'all're not going to lose your job, (To another employee) yous know, uh... (Moving on to the side by side employee, leaving the previous one in tears) you're not going to lose your chore..."
• When the female employees are talking nearly what kinds of men they discover attractive, Shy accountant Sheila says "I like blacks", with Oliver (the office blackness-guy) sitting right next to her. He suddenly looks rather nervous.
• When David is hired to be a motivational speaker. He comes in dressed like a homie, acts extremely flamboyant without offer whatever substantial advice and runs out of the room with "Simply the All-time" by Tina Turner playing him out. Watching him pose for photos is pretty funny as well.
• When Neil and Rachel are performing a Saturday Nighttime Fever-style trip the light fantastic for charity, David's reaction is "That looks gay".
• Neil bakes a birthday cake for i of the office women and David is overheard sniping: "I prefer a flan!"
• Gareth and Tim's give-and-take virtually whether Tim'southward position (Senior Sales Rep) outranks Gareth's (Squad Leader):

  Tim: It's a title someone has given you to get you to practice something they don't want to do for complimentary. It's like making the div kid at schoolhouse milk monitor. No one respects information technology.

  Gareth: Er yeah they do, because if people were rude to me, and so I used to give them their milk last, when it was warm.

• David and Gareth's conversation with Alex (the soon to be fired forklift driver) almost the differences between dwarfs, midgets and elves. Alex storms out, then the guy repairing Brent's estimator chimes in:

  So what's a goblin?

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Source: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/TheOfficeUK

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